Gavin's Blog

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Day 25
Anthrax scare over as we had the all clear this morning. That meant that arrangements could be made for the disposal of poor Mavis. Under normal circumstances that would have been a relatively straightforward matter, but these are not normal times and with F & M still at large, the knacker man ( technical term for the dead animal collection service) is not going to be allowed on the farm. This mea More...

Day 24
Oh tragedy!! Mavis was found dead in the field this morning. Mavis is, sorry was, Basilís mom. Now she was renowned for enjoying her food and had no issues with Basil stealing a meal off Ethel and Prudence but a dead cow in a field with F & M and Bluetooth still around has given us all a bad dose of the proverbial judders (or should that be udders?). In line with Ministry requirements the vet wa More...

Day 23
Good news is that it turns out the F & M virus might have leaked out from a laboratory, which may mean it may not spread too far. Bad news is there is more Ďout to get us virusesí on the move, with Bluetongue found in the East of England. Itís on days like this I wonder whether Charlotte and the girls got the better deal. At least they didnít have to worry about what might be around the next corn More...

Day 22
Summer is passing quite quickly but there is now some anxiety as the dreaded words ĎFoot and Mouthí have been uttered. Foot in mouth is what we associate with daft dog but this other phrase sends shivers down the spine of every cloven footed animal around. Apparently there is an outbreak in Surrey and whilst Henry reckoned that was miles away, even as the crow flies, I pointed out we have a lot of More...

Day 21
Headline scandal or good gossip at worst. Henry came bounding up to me this morning as it seems our Daft Dog is not such a little innocent after all. Despite the fact that he underwent the same procedure as poor old Bertie bullock it seems that before the eventful day, he was courted by the young Jack Russell filly next door. Now I understand Daft Dogís predicament here, when in Rome and its hande More...

Day 20
You always know when Daft Dog is it trouble because the piercing shrill of LOOOPEEEY precedes an Olympic paced collie making for the safety of the Farm Shop. At this point he sits head slightly cocked, big eyed and tapping his paw with a Ďwho me gov?í look about him. The master at dog eyed innocence, if he canít find a pal to blame he resorts first to whimpering around the farmerís leg and if that More...

Day 19
Ooh this lovely sunshine is still here, makes everyone feel very spring like. My girls are looking particularly stunning just lately. I canít begin to understand why I felt we didnít get along when I first arrived. Henry has been looking longingly at the field over the drive but knows he is not allowed there for a few more weeks but since our understanding and the fact that I am now heavier than H More...

Day 18
Nearly lost our constant source of amusement today, as Daft Dog appeared to have a death wish. Well I know it has suddenly gone very warm and shade is at a premium but lying under car is bound to have its drawbacks. Most sensible cats and dogs, at the first sound of a car door, would do the clever thing and move, just in case the driver had not spotted them taking an afternoon nap. Not our daft More...

Day 17
Ouch! Very unpleasant viewing today in the next field. Poor old Bertie the bullock has lost a couple of things very dear to him. It turns out he isnít quite as pedigree as was first thought, so that has determined his destiny. Nice lady vet turns up and oh, brings tears to the eyes, one minute he had two, the next none, I think they called it castration. It brought Henry and I closer together tho More...

Day 16
Yippee Summer is here and what a difference it makes. There was everyone walking around glum trying their best to keep out of the rain and now there is frantic activity all round. Most importantly of all my food for winter is being made. After all the rain we were all worried that there would be no hay for winter but the sun is now shining and hay making is in full swing. I am having a bit of tr More...

Day 15
Well what a couple of days! Everywhere is just soaked. The water levels have started to go down but it is still pretty miserable. I feel sorry for Basil and the calves; they have hardly seen sunshine since they were born, same too for the littlies. Henry and I decided to hang around the hut today just in case it started to rain again. The one bright spot in the day was Daft Dog. He just loves the More...

Day 14
What was I saying about sunny weather? It has been raining like I have never seen rain before. I rounded up all the littlies (thatís the newly weaned lambs) and herded them into my hut, well there is no point catching your death of cold in that. The piggies in the field had to be moved inside, as the water levels rose so much their fields flooded and even went into their arks. Apparently that had More...

Day 13
Sunny all day today, lots of new friends have moved into my field as the lambs have now all been weaned and left their mothers. Henry, one of the rams from the adjoining field has come over to my side as he says he has to have his genes tested so he can work. Henry has been chatting up all my girls but since my horns have been showing through they wonít leave me alone, so no competition. Henry say More...

Day 12
Happy event today, Mavis was safely delivered of a boy calf. Well when I say delivered, she was grazing one minute and out he popped five minutes later, leaving Mavis to resume grazing position within a ten minute interval. I am amazed what a happy family bunch these Hereford Cows are. No sooner was Basil (thatís what they have named the litte bull calf) being cleaned off by his mom but the rest o More...

Day 11
As my field is situated between all the farm buildings I have a great vantage point and can watch the wonders of human behaviour. The digger driver turns out to be somewhat of a legend around these parts. After the little matter of his runaway truck it would seem that his propensity for accidental damage is unique. This can be substantiated quite succinctly by an unsuspecting villager trying to More...

Day 10
No rain for two days. Mustnít get complacent though as the next field cows assure me itís on the way back and they are keeping their bit of grass dry by sitting around as long as they can. They say that the English are a nation of animal lovers but I think the Irish are in the same league. Rhubarb, a resident pig, was out for a stroll with her brood of piglets this morning, enjoying the early su More...

Day 9
Well, it was back looking at the sky this morning as I was turned upside down again, this time to have my feet trimmed. The girls explained that this is a regular ritual that I can look forward to, designed to prevent me from getting foot rot. No one ever told me about all of this stuff when I was a film star, still I must look my best just in case the cameras return. Talking of cameras a man tu More...

Day 8
Itís a good thing that my field backs up to the farmyard between the houses, as now that my TV stardom has ended, the daily routine of eating and sleeping could have its limitations. Fortunately, there is sufficient entertainment to keep me amused and take my mind off this dreadful weather. Watching Daft Dog is my favourite pastime. He has boundless energy matched only by his incredible lack of co More...

Day 7
Relief all round, everyone is modelling a shade of pink. Turns out that this is to stop fly strike, which is a very unpleasant occurrence. The warm damp weather has encouraged lots of flies and it seems that they are all looking for a cosy fleece to lay their eggs in. If that wasnít bad enough, once the eggs hatch, it seems they use what is under the fleece e.g. me as their dinner!!! Given this i More...

Day 6
Had a bit of a surprise this morning. Went over for breakfast as usual but as quickly as you could say Ďmy nuts or yours?í, I found myself upside down having my bottom shaved. Worse followed, as the fleece on the underside of my tail and dangly bits was removed. To add insult to injury I then had a needle in by bum and was sprayed with pink stuff. I hasten to add I wasnít singled out for this ind More...

Day 5
Hasnít stopped raining for days and last night we had five inches in what seemed like minutes. What was the saying about flaming June? I am on top of the hill but have my shed. We all huddled up together when the deluge came, but even part of our field had ducks swimming on it when daylight came. As well as sheep and cattle, there are fields full of pigs. These are another rare breed, Berkshire More...

Day 4
That daft dog has been practising for dog agility tests. I discovered that the big brown and white sheep with leathery coats are actually cows. Well anyone can make a mistake, they didnít have cows where I came from and just because they moo not baa is no help if you have never seen or heard them before. Needless to say this amused my girls who I am finding quite patronising; still I guess thatís More...

Day 3
Met the resident sheep dog today. Well he is training for the job. The girls told me to play along as he is still young and hasnít qualified yet. I donít understand what all the fuss is about, if the farmer brings a bag of feed we are not daft enough not go after him, or we miss out. So why some dog feels the need to chase us I donít know. Apparently its tradition. The dogís name is Loopy and I a More...

Day 2
Back to normal, breakfast came. I had been chatting to my new girls, who it seems are a quite rare welsh sheep. Apparently about 200 ewes live here plus lambs like me. The girls keep teasing me as I have found some mates in the next door field that are rams. They are much more fun to talk to and donít giggle like these girls. The girls reckon I must be gay. I told them I am a happy chap as I am no More...

Day 1
Well itís been a bit of an eventful day, started badly with no breakfast, then me and the girls were back on the trailer, with something someone called Ďa one-way ticketí. I assumed that meant that we are off to pastures new and leaving our London Ďewe-topiaí behind for good. First stop the girls got off. I was told not to put one step off the trailer or it would be curtains, which I found surp More...

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Gavin

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